| I'm back fools.
Enter Friend
Like the saying goes, "there is noone you can trust, but your family". Used to not believe it until the world exposed my blind eyes to make it more consistant for me to get the perfect picture on what the world has to offer; Shit. Thats right guys, the things that our planet chooses to give us are nothing more than obstacles and problems. Is there really a Utopia that everyone can agree on? If there is, I bet it's called heaven. Maybe that's why a lot of people have chosen suicide as their final chapter here. I read something peculiar today about studies with teenage suicides. Turns out the cause for these deaths are mainly to blame on the thoughts on all of their minds with this one question: Where do you see yourself in the future? Perhaps this question is too devestating for the brain to harness and creates havoc in their life, bringing the ultimate decision to closing the book. Why does the world have to be such BS sometimes. Why do I put my bag of secrets and thoughts on this one specific girl that can easily pull the trigger to cause me to vulnerable? Is this a setup? A coup on me? I practically just lost the words when that person told me something I would never imagine would come out from her mouth. Perhaps the person is growing up and is starting to become more independant. It was so devestating that I just couldn't really accept the fact that whatever just happened just ...blew me away. Put yourself in my shoes, how would you feel if you thought you felt betrayed by the person that you thought would be your "Buddy". Betrayed is a powerful word, but this is how I feel and I can't find no other word to express my feelings I'm holding. Betrayed. To think I could've trusted you with everything, and with just one sentence and some minor issues, you decide to throw it all away. Wow, thanks.. I should've known what goes around comes back around. Cliche, but niche. Perhaps this is why I only wanted friends and no best friends in my life when I was grade 4. I knew it wouldn't last, but I still made an exception hoping, WANTING it to not be true. WISHING I was wrong because I was young. But I should've known.. Being young is all about making mistakes and correcting them. I just went back and dug myself my own grave.
Enter 2nd Noun
I am very aware of this noun. I am intrigued by it. Wanting to know more about it. Perhaps spend an enormous amount of time with this noun. We're in a bit of a commitment right now, but its weird. Yes weird indeed. When we had a chat about commitment, the noun goes and says, "you wish .. in a million years... who says I would want to be with you by that time". It's very confusing. I've never really thought about this before with my previous noun because the old noun would always say it is committed and would stay with me forever. However, this noun goes and states that it will not stay with me in the future nor be committed with me. Would that mean this noun is toying with me? Using me until it can find the perfect pronoun to connect to? Am I just a distraction until that period of time comes? And saying that I don't know you. Its almost like a diss.. knowing how this noun would feel, and yet so stubborn.. to the point where it gets kind of irritating to witness.. Am I willing to be the distraction for the better life this noun will have? Am I willing to put up with this noun? Heh, probably. Why not? I love her.. it's too bad this noun isnt really lookin' for love at the moment... It's all good =) There are two different people that live on this world.. One is a selfish person that will do anything in order to achieve the perfect happiness, regardless if it involves hurting those around them. The second one would be the person who would give up everything in order to have those around them be happy. Obviously in reality, only the selfish person would prevail and the only place that kind person would prevail would be in a fairytale because they always win in the end in order to make the story entertaining. Why am i the failure? Why am i not selfish enough... Why am I always leaning on to the fairy tale. I already felt the pain here and yet, I still want to continue .. Am I a psycopath? Perhaps.. But anyway.. time to grab a pop and sit back... and relax..... movietime.
|
| |
| From the look of things, this is the last summer I'll ever have with everyone. Seems like we're all moving on with our lives and people are changing, people like I. Having close friends don't s
|
| |
| So basically when I came back from Ontario, I was excited. Excited because I was so excited to see my friends and family members. Although I haven't seen most of them yet, I hope to see them soon!!!! I hate how I graduated in Ontario. I have to wait for
|
| |
| One thing I gotta say before I go to sleep, Summer 2011 is messed up... the good and the bad...
|
| |
| One more week. Make it count. |
| |
